Ria or Tamanna? Raj or Srinivasa?

Published: www.yash.ca
On: September 9, 2008
At: Toronto, Canada

I came across The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Interpreter of Maladies), which evokes in me a lifelong balancing act to meld to a new world without forgetting the old. Just as the protagonist of the novel, American born Gogol, son of Indian immigrants, wants to find his place in the world, I hope that this cultural conflict is less pronounced with my son.

With strong Indian ties, I clearly want an Indian name for my baby boy. A name is not only an important thing in his new life, but also it represents my thoughts and feelings. It is a fun process, and at times frustrating. The name is going to help shape his personality, and it's definitely going to help if the meaning of his name is positive and lovely to sound.

In my nearly three years living in Canada, I have met a few Indians who have modified their name to spell it differently or even changed it to more Canadian! I don't like doing so, yet to each his own.

I rather keep a simple and sweet name from the start.I flip through various name books for inspiration. Yet, it seems elusive. Of an infinite pool of names, how do I select one that truly sum up my baby? To avoid my little one being subjected to a lifetime of sniggers, we have spent hours running through lists, shortlists, and definite no-no lists of baby names. I have made a list of things that I want and don't want in my baby's name:

Creative spelling
I definitely will not use my creativity to spell my son's name with a twist. I don't want him to spend a lifetime spelling his name to others, or worse, despise his name later. A name no one can pronounce can bring attention he would rather avoid.

Celebrity names
Even though it's fun to name a child Mallika or Mihir, I certainly don't want their celebrity status to affect my little one. What happens when a hot star turns into a flop star? Or worse, some aunt expecting my son to dance like Hrithik? Being inspired by a celebrity, and naming a child after him or her is treading on dangerous territory.

Short and sweet
The name should be easy to spell and pronounce. I plan to take a test - I will ask my Canadian colleagues/ or friends to pronounce it. Imagine a beautiful name like Poorvi is pronounced as Poor - vi!!!

Positive meaning
A name with positive meaning and energy will bring out the best in my child. When he grows up, will he not be flattered to know that his name means strong or wise?

Clashing with family name
Since my last name is a tongue twister, and middle name (i.e. my husband's name) is long as well, it is best to choose a short name. Follow the KISS rule - Keep it simple stupid. Often, longer first names work better with shorter last names, and vice versa.

Running out of time
Don't panic! In most Canadian provinces (I can speak of Toronto for sure) we get 30 days after the baby is born to register his name. So if I am planning to name him knowing his birth date and time, I have some time to decide.

However, none of these are hard and fast rules. The most important criterion is that hubby dear and I should like it! Once I have met my baby Krish, Arnav, or Aryan, it doesn't matter what his name is, and means. Because it will soon become my favourite name in the whole world.

Bargain Hunters - Be aware!

Published: http://www.yash.ca/
At: Toronto, Canada
On: August 25th, 2008

The thrill of having a baby and going for shopping is alike. Both are exciting experiences, and the excitement lasts till you see the bills!! Now is the time to start my shopping before I am too tired. As I browse around the shops and websites for my little baby, I am overwhelmed at the sight of the myriad products on display. It is impossible to resist buying those pint sized stretch suits with Disney characters all over or the booties and the adorable little knit cap. Ohh! The fuzzy blanket will surely keep my baby warm. And, what about the baby's crib and changing table with lots of storage space? Woefully I lament, wont I need all of these for my adorable munchkin?

Disappointed that I can't have it all; I am looking out for various options. My friend suggests that I look for garage sales and classifieds. At times, you do find great deals with gently used products. The classified site that pleases me the most, and is popular is the http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/ and http://www.kijiji.ca/.

I am amazed at the great bargains I can find here. A monitor for $60, Evenflo Exersaucer is for $40, and, a stroller for $30. Wow! That's quite a saving. Now before I get too excited let me recall Health Canada's guide to be careful about buying (and selling) used baby gear.So if I am buying a Baby Gate, Crib or a Playpen it must be accompanied by the name of the manufacturer, model no. and the date of manufacture and assembly instructions. Oh, Baby Walkers, they are illegal to sell in Canada since April 2004. I wasn't aware of it at all. I did a little more research and discovered that most injuries are caused by falls when the baby walker tips and the baby is thrown downstairs or crashes into furniture. That's scary!

Car Seats must meet the Canadian Motor Vehicle Safety Standard. (Oh, I need to buy this right away as the hospital will not allow me to take my baby without a car seat). Playpens must have all locking mechanisms working and set-up instructions included. Strollers must come with a safety harness that is solidly attached to the seat or frame. The brakes, as well as locking mechanisms on folding models, should be in working order. The wheels need to be securely attached. Recently, there has been an increased number of recalls on toys with paint containing lead. I have to check that toys have not been recalled before buying them in the Health Canada Web site, http://www.healthcanada.gc.ca/cps-recalls

Buying Infant Bath Seats and Bath Rings is not recommended because the suction cups or other means to attach the product to a tub can be ineffective. These products are NOT safety devices.
For more information, contact Consumer Product Safety, Health Canada: 1-866-662-0666, email cps-spc@hc-sc.gc.ca ,or visit www.healthcanada.gc.ca/cps.Now that's quite an exhaustive list from Health Canada. Nevertheless useful if I choose to go for mildly used products for my baby. Think Shopping, Think Safety!

What to expect in a hospital bag

Published: http://www.yash.ca/
On: August 10, 2008
At: Toronto, Canada

Staring at the mirror, I look at my watermelon-sized belly. I can't see my toes anymore. My clothes fit me no more. My hormones are swinging like a monkey on a tree and my ankles are inflating like a balloon. I am done with finding more baby names, and collecting baby frames and clipping coupons for diapers. Had enough of hanging around at message boards and spending hours saying "so sweet" at all the clothes in Toys R Us.

At 36 weeks of pregnancy, I want to scream, "I can't take this anymore. Get him out. Let's pop the cork" I begin packing my hospital bag before my head gets mixed up again. Below is a compiled list of things that I think is essential for the big trip that I will be undertaking shortly.

What to pack for labour
· A birth plan (It helps my doctor / nurse understand my wishes and needs. Even though there's no way I can control every aspect of labour and delivery, so I am flexible)
· Loose tees and pyjamas or night dress
· Socks and slippers - useful if I end up pacing hospital corridors in early labour
· Snacks and drinks - I might not prefer hospital food or I simply want more
· Toiletries
· Pillows / cushions
· Camera / camcorder to record the eventful moments
· Mobile
· Address book - to call friends and relatives
· Change - to buy snacks or make a call

For my support person
· A change of clothes
· Toiletries
· Snacks and drinks
· Pillows / cushions

For after the birth
· Loose comfortable clothes
·Nursing bras - two or three
·Breast pads for when milk comes in
·Maternity pads - a couple of packs
· Nightshirt or T-shirt -- front opening shirts are useful for breastfeeding

For the baby
·An infant car seat - some hospitals won't let you leave without one
· One outfit for the trip home (a bodysuit is the easiest)
· Two to three baby vests for baby to wear while we are in hospital
. Some hospitals provide baby gowns for the baby to wear during the stay
· Baby blanket (a warm one if the weather is cold)
· Nappies
·Wipes
· Towel
· Baby soap and oil
· One pair of socks / booties
· Hat
· Sweater / Jacket / snowsuit for winter babies

Ah! My two bags are packed. I am ready to welcome my baby. I know I will never see the world in the same way again. Good luck to me!

The birth of a mom

Published: www.yash.ca
On: July 28th, 2008
At: Toronto, Canada


One week before my rebirth, I get restless. Now I am desperately waiting for my baby to arrive in this world. Moving from one room (with husband) to another room (with mom) like a ghost I toss and turn on my bed. The pain is getting unbearable. The continuous phone calls of friends and family who are eagerly waiting for 'the news' pains me more. I am getting heavier, could give an elephant a complex as well.
On 26th july, I clean all the washrooms, and house. Sparkling clean, just as they show in the ads. After dinner, mom and Santosh decide to retire for the night. I continue with my ghostly antics.
Suddenly I am hungry. I tip toe to the kitchen. Look here, and there, and gobble peanuts. Strangely, I feel heavy. I wobble up now, no longer afraid of waking anyone. I try to sleep, honestly I do try. But the pain becomes unbearable. It's impossible to sleep on my right side, but now sleeping on left side appears impossible too. I get up, and walk towards mom's room. Phew! Doesn't an elephant get tired ever??!!! Well, I do!
I can't sleep with mom too. It's 3 am. Trotting back to my room, my scuffles wake up Santosh. Trying to soothe me to sleep, he surely does his best. But this isn't my day. I cry, cry, cry for no reason at all.
Mom hears my Boo-hoo and comes to the room. She decides its time to go to the hospital. Unanimously, we agree, and get going with changing clothes, packing bags, etc.I visit the bathroom to relieve myself. When I get up, I see blood. My screams bring Santosh and mom rushing to check on me.
My water bag has burst declares mom. NOW, it's really really time to rush to the hospital. We are now residing in Mississauga, but my hospital (Scarborough Grace) is in another city, Scarborough. It's a good one-hour drive from home. (It's a long story why we live in one corner, and I am delivering in another corner of the city).
Santosh zooms to the hospital. Thanks to our previous visits, we know where exactly to park and where to go. Sitting on a wheelchair is no fun. I feel funny being driven by someone else! Talk about giving control of my life to someone else!!!
We are quickly ushered in by a nurse. On the hospital bed, I go through a battery of 'tests' that qualify me to be in labour. Santosh completes the registration hurriedly.
Here's my true test. I hate needles. I am petrified! I know that "But you are a Doctor's daughter" statement. My nerves are really thin, and difficult to find. So I need a baby needle or a butterfly needle as they call it. However, the nurses don't think so!! They want to first try their expertise on me, and then when they are not successful they call an Anaesthetist to do so! Result: Both my hands are blue with numerous pokes.
It's noon finally when they give me glucose, and then the best thing that man ever made: epidural. They inject right into your spinal cord while you remain still for few minutes. Then, its bliss. You are unaware of the pain and contractions. They do monitor your contractions though with their advanced monitors.
I sleep for 2-3 hours, unaware of time passing by. Come 8 pm, and a nurse walks in. She is all ready to butcher me. Wearing her gloves, she checks for how much I have dilated. She declares, it's up to you now! Do you want to whine and be here till tomorrow morning or push hard and deliver in the next 15 mins!!!
Now, I am not used to someone telling me that. Yet, I meekly listen to her instructions and PUSH!! I felt as if I am heavily constipated. And, I push, push and push. Yes, we can see him. And, I push, push and push. I see his head, Oh he has got so much of hair, Santosh says with delight. (I am only interested in pushing). The nurse quickly pulls my baby out, and hands him over to Santosh. The proud papa cuts the umbilical chord. Wiping him off, and amidst oohs and aahs, a mother is born.

It’s true. We are going to be parents soon!

Published: http://www.yash.ca/
On: July 14, 2008
At: Toronto, Canada

It is January the 24th (2007) today. It is a lovely day outside. I am up, bright and early as I am too excited to sleep my regular hours. I am heading for an important ultrasound this morning. I have done a pregnancy test and I know Santosh and I are going to be parents of a beautiful child, but doubts are lurking in my head and I am hoping today’s ultrasound will do away with them.
At 8:30 a.m. I walk into the clinic for my first ever ultrasound, full of fear and anxiety. I was told to have a full bladder. I must drink lots of water one hour prior to the procedure. This will help to move the intestines out of the way and aid in distinguishing various fetal parts. As the technologist takes my health card and asks me to wait, I can only think of going to the washroom to relieve myself. It is too much of a pain to sit still! A few minutes more of waiting, and I am ushered in by a sweet bespectacled lady. I am asked to change my clothes. I slip into a blue gown, and then join her in room no. 3.
As I enter in , I lie down on my back. She proceeds with the transabdominal ultrasound process of putting a lubricating gel on my growing tummy, placing a probe over the gel and moving it all around on the abdomen. Sound waves pass through my abdomen to the fetus and bounce back to create the fetal image on an electronic monitor.I look at her with growing anxiety, fear knotting my stomach.
Am I really pregnant? Is everything okay with the baby? How old is the baby? When am I due? Can I see him? All kinds of questions creep in my mind like snakes in the plane. I am wating with a bated breath for the verdict. I cannot wait anymore. I finally blurt out, "Am I pregnant"? She gives me an amused look, and asks if I did my pregnancy test. I hesitantly tell her that I did but that I was still confused.
She further probes me if this was my first pregnancy, and if I was new to Canada. I wonder what it has got to do with my pregnancy. Finally she laughs and answers my question: Yes, you are pregnant. I probe her further: how old is the baby? She hesitantly answers, approximately 14 weeks. Wow! I can’t believe it. I have to see the baby myself.
After doing few more measurements, she calls in Santosh. Moving the monitor towards us, we watch with anticipation and joy. I see my baby on the screen, yes, with my own eyes! The tiny hands that are going to hold my hands, his newly formed face, eyes, body, limbs, abdomen, shoulder, spinal chord, and his beautiful throbbing heart. Yes, I hear his heart beat too. It is like the sound of a water stream rushing in. My eyes well up with tears. Is it out of happiness? Disbelief? I have no idea. In a blur, I enter the washroom, change my clothes, and come out with my baby's picture in hand.
Santosh and I come out of the lab smiling. It is true! We are going to be proud parents of a wonderful son. I am determined to give the best to my baby.

A mother's letter to her to-be-born baby

Published: www.yash.ca & http://www.4indianwoman.com/
On: July 1st, 2008 & January 23rd, 2010
At: Toronto, Canada


Dear to-be-born baby,

I haven't seen you, but I feel you inside my swollen tummy. I haven't heard your voice, but I sense your fast breathing. You are growing within me since the last 7.5 months; touched by my innermost thoughts and heartfelt emotions.
I can't wait to see you in flesh and blood, to hear you go ba-ba-ba-ba. Oh, what fun it will be to wake up and see your bright and smiling face, listen to your cries of hunger or discomfort, feed and swaddle you, give you a bath and good night tuck-ins. I am looking forward to playing with you all those gorgeous toys in the market.
As I dream about the good times, a part of me is full of questions about taking good care of you. How will I know that you are not feeling well? Would I know, all you need is a kiss and squeeze from me? Or, maybe you are hungry? Or, you do not like the new baby soap that I just brought you?
Somewhere from within me comes the answer, "You will know with time. You will be a wonderful mother." I break into a wide grin thinking, "Yes, I can do it." I wasn't born with all the knowledge in the world. I am going to fall, and learn with my mistakes. Celebrating my mistakes makes me a strong person. You taught me to appreciate every moment in life. From you I learned not to lose sleep over the endless worries of life.
When you come out of my secured womb, and begin to grow, you will soon realize that we live in an image bound society. "So what do you do?" is the most famous question asked as soon as you meet anyone. What will your mom say? "I am a stay-at-home-mom" or "I work in so-and-so company as so-and-so."
In today's times, it's a no-win situation. Either way, I have to defend my choices. If I choose to be a career mom, I will be seen as a career obsessed parent who has neglected her only child for money, and if I opt to be a stay-at-home mom, I will be looked down upon by others as someone who is incapable of taking care of both, home and work.
So is it possible to have a satisfying career and personal life? The answer is a resounding yes. I may need to revisit my expectations. Is it essential to have a picture perfect home? Is it crucial to bake a cake from the scratch?
My baby, I refuse to join in this mummy war, and choose to be responsible for my choices: A choice that I am going to make for my family's wellness, needs and desires. Whatever is my choice, my love and attention is what you will get in plentiful. A loving home filled with joy, laughter and warmth is what you will get. I promise.

Love,
Mom