Published: www.yash.ca
On: July 28th, 2008
At: Toronto, Canada
One week before my rebirth, I get restless. Now I am desperately waiting for my baby to arrive in this world. Moving from one room (with husband) to another room (with mom) like a ghost I toss and turn on my bed. The pain is getting unbearable. The continuous phone calls of friends and family who are eagerly waiting for 'the news' pains me more. I am getting heavier, could give an elephant a complex as well.
On 26th july, I clean all the washrooms, and house. Sparkling clean, just as they show in the ads. After dinner, mom and Santosh decide to retire for the night. I continue with my ghostly antics.
Suddenly I am hungry. I tip toe to the kitchen. Look here, and there, and gobble peanuts. Strangely, I feel heavy. I wobble up now, no longer afraid of waking anyone. I try to sleep, honestly I do try. But the pain becomes unbearable. It's impossible to sleep on my right side, but now sleeping on left side appears impossible too. I get up, and walk towards mom's room. Phew! Doesn't an elephant get tired ever??!!! Well, I do!
I can't sleep with mom too. It's 3 am. Trotting back to my room, my scuffles wake up Santosh. Trying to soothe me to sleep, he surely does his best. But this isn't my day. I cry, cry, cry for no reason at all.
Mom hears my Boo-hoo and comes to the room. She decides its time to go to the hospital. Unanimously, we agree, and get going with changing clothes, packing bags, etc.I visit the bathroom to relieve myself. When I get up, I see blood. My screams bring Santosh and mom rushing to check on me.
My water bag has burst declares mom. NOW, it's really really time to rush to the hospital. We are now residing in Mississauga, but my hospital (Scarborough Grace) is in another city, Scarborough. It's a good one-hour drive from home. (It's a long story why we live in one corner, and I am delivering in another corner of the city).
Santosh zooms to the hospital. Thanks to our previous visits, we know where exactly to park and where to go. Sitting on a wheelchair is no fun. I feel funny being driven by someone else! Talk about giving control of my life to someone else!!!
We are quickly ushered in by a nurse. On the hospital bed, I go through a battery of 'tests' that qualify me to be in labour. Santosh completes the registration hurriedly.
Here's my true test. I hate needles. I am petrified! I know that "But you are a Doctor's daughter" statement. My nerves are really thin, and difficult to find. So I need a baby needle or a butterfly needle as they call it. However, the nurses don't think so!! They want to first try their expertise on me, and then when they are not successful they call an Anaesthetist to do so! Result: Both my hands are blue with numerous pokes.
It's noon finally when they give me glucose, and then the best thing that man ever made: epidural. They inject right into your spinal cord while you remain still for few minutes. Then, its bliss. You are unaware of the pain and contractions. They do monitor your contractions though with their advanced monitors.
I sleep for 2-3 hours, unaware of time passing by. Come 8 pm, and a nurse walks in. She is all ready to butcher me. Wearing her gloves, she checks for how much I have dilated. She declares, it's up to you now! Do you want to whine and be here till tomorrow morning or push hard and deliver in the next 15 mins!!!
Now, I am not used to someone telling me that. Yet, I meekly listen to her instructions and PUSH!! I felt as if I am heavily constipated. And, I push, push and push. Yes, we can see him. And, I push, push and push. I see his head, Oh he has got so much of hair, Santosh says with delight. (I am only interested in pushing). The nurse quickly pulls my baby out, and hands him over to Santosh. The proud papa cuts the umbilical chord. Wiping him off, and amidst oohs and aahs, a mother is born.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
It’s true. We are going to be parents soon!
Published: http://www.yash.ca/
On: July 14, 2008
At: Toronto, Canada
It is January the 24th (2007) today. It is a lovely day outside. I am up, bright and early as I am too excited to sleep my regular hours. I am heading for an important ultrasound this morning. I have done a pregnancy test and I know Santosh and I are going to be parents of a beautiful child, but doubts are lurking in my head and I am hoping today’s ultrasound will do away with them.
At 8:30 a.m. I walk into the clinic for my first ever ultrasound, full of fear and anxiety. I was told to have a full bladder. I must drink lots of water one hour prior to the procedure. This will help to move the intestines out of the way and aid in distinguishing various fetal parts. As the technologist takes my health card and asks me to wait, I can only think of going to the washroom to relieve myself. It is too much of a pain to sit still! A few minutes more of waiting, and I am ushered in by a sweet bespectacled lady. I am asked to change my clothes. I slip into a blue gown, and then join her in room no. 3.
As I enter in , I lie down on my back. She proceeds with the transabdominal ultrasound process of putting a lubricating gel on my growing tummy, placing a probe over the gel and moving it all around on the abdomen. Sound waves pass through my abdomen to the fetus and bounce back to create the fetal image on an electronic monitor.I look at her with growing anxiety, fear knotting my stomach.
Am I really pregnant? Is everything okay with the baby? How old is the baby? When am I due? Can I see him? All kinds of questions creep in my mind like snakes in the plane. I am wating with a bated breath for the verdict. I cannot wait anymore. I finally blurt out, "Am I pregnant"? She gives me an amused look, and asks if I did my pregnancy test. I hesitantly tell her that I did but that I was still confused.
She further probes me if this was my first pregnancy, and if I was new to Canada. I wonder what it has got to do with my pregnancy. Finally she laughs and answers my question: Yes, you are pregnant. I probe her further: how old is the baby? She hesitantly answers, approximately 14 weeks. Wow! I can’t believe it. I have to see the baby myself.
After doing few more measurements, she calls in Santosh. Moving the monitor towards us, we watch with anticipation and joy. I see my baby on the screen, yes, with my own eyes! The tiny hands that are going to hold my hands, his newly formed face, eyes, body, limbs, abdomen, shoulder, spinal chord, and his beautiful throbbing heart. Yes, I hear his heart beat too. It is like the sound of a water stream rushing in. My eyes well up with tears. Is it out of happiness? Disbelief? I have no idea. In a blur, I enter the washroom, change my clothes, and come out with my baby's picture in hand.
Santosh and I come out of the lab smiling. It is true! We are going to be proud parents of a wonderful son. I am determined to give the best to my baby.
On: July 14, 2008
At: Toronto, Canada
It is January the 24th (2007) today. It is a lovely day outside. I am up, bright and early as I am too excited to sleep my regular hours. I am heading for an important ultrasound this morning. I have done a pregnancy test and I know Santosh and I are going to be parents of a beautiful child, but doubts are lurking in my head and I am hoping today’s ultrasound will do away with them.
At 8:30 a.m. I walk into the clinic for my first ever ultrasound, full of fear and anxiety. I was told to have a full bladder. I must drink lots of water one hour prior to the procedure. This will help to move the intestines out of the way and aid in distinguishing various fetal parts. As the technologist takes my health card and asks me to wait, I can only think of going to the washroom to relieve myself. It is too much of a pain to sit still! A few minutes more of waiting, and I am ushered in by a sweet bespectacled lady. I am asked to change my clothes. I slip into a blue gown, and then join her in room no. 3.
As I enter in , I lie down on my back. She proceeds with the transabdominal ultrasound process of putting a lubricating gel on my growing tummy, placing a probe over the gel and moving it all around on the abdomen. Sound waves pass through my abdomen to the fetus and bounce back to create the fetal image on an electronic monitor.I look at her with growing anxiety, fear knotting my stomach.
Am I really pregnant? Is everything okay with the baby? How old is the baby? When am I due? Can I see him? All kinds of questions creep in my mind like snakes in the plane. I am wating with a bated breath for the verdict. I cannot wait anymore. I finally blurt out, "Am I pregnant"? She gives me an amused look, and asks if I did my pregnancy test. I hesitantly tell her that I did but that I was still confused.
She further probes me if this was my first pregnancy, and if I was new to Canada. I wonder what it has got to do with my pregnancy. Finally she laughs and answers my question: Yes, you are pregnant. I probe her further: how old is the baby? She hesitantly answers, approximately 14 weeks. Wow! I can’t believe it. I have to see the baby myself.
After doing few more measurements, she calls in Santosh. Moving the monitor towards us, we watch with anticipation and joy. I see my baby on the screen, yes, with my own eyes! The tiny hands that are going to hold my hands, his newly formed face, eyes, body, limbs, abdomen, shoulder, spinal chord, and his beautiful throbbing heart. Yes, I hear his heart beat too. It is like the sound of a water stream rushing in. My eyes well up with tears. Is it out of happiness? Disbelief? I have no idea. In a blur, I enter the washroom, change my clothes, and come out with my baby's picture in hand.
Santosh and I come out of the lab smiling. It is true! We are going to be proud parents of a wonderful son. I am determined to give the best to my baby.
Friday, July 4, 2008
A mother's letter to her to-be-born baby
Published: www.yash.ca & http://www.4indianwoman.com/
On: July 1st, 2008 & January 23rd, 2010
At: Toronto, Canada
Dear to-be-born baby,
I haven't seen you, but I feel you inside my swollen tummy. I haven't heard your voice, but I sense your fast breathing. You are growing within me since the last 7.5 months; touched by my innermost thoughts and heartfelt emotions.
I can't wait to see you in flesh and blood, to hear you go ba-ba-ba-ba. Oh, what fun it will be to wake up and see your bright and smiling face, listen to your cries of hunger or discomfort, feed and swaddle you, give you a bath and good night tuck-ins. I am looking forward to playing with you all those gorgeous toys in the market.
As I dream about the good times, a part of me is full of questions about taking good care of you. How will I know that you are not feeling well? Would I know, all you need is a kiss and squeeze from me? Or, maybe you are hungry? Or, you do not like the new baby soap that I just brought you?
Somewhere from within me comes the answer, "You will know with time. You will be a wonderful mother." I break into a wide grin thinking, "Yes, I can do it." I wasn't born with all the knowledge in the world. I am going to fall, and learn with my mistakes. Celebrating my mistakes makes me a strong person. You taught me to appreciate every moment in life. From you I learned not to lose sleep over the endless worries of life.
When you come out of my secured womb, and begin to grow, you will soon realize that we live in an image bound society. "So what do you do?" is the most famous question asked as soon as you meet anyone. What will your mom say? "I am a stay-at-home-mom" or "I work in so-and-so company as so-and-so."
In today's times, it's a no-win situation. Either way, I have to defend my choices. If I choose to be a career mom, I will be seen as a career obsessed parent who has neglected her only child for money, and if I opt to be a stay-at-home mom, I will be looked down upon by others as someone who is incapable of taking care of both, home and work.
So is it possible to have a satisfying career and personal life? The answer is a resounding yes. I may need to revisit my expectations. Is it essential to have a picture perfect home? Is it crucial to bake a cake from the scratch?
My baby, I refuse to join in this mummy war, and choose to be responsible for my choices: A choice that I am going to make for my family's wellness, needs and desires. Whatever is my choice, my love and attention is what you will get in plentiful. A loving home filled with joy, laughter and warmth is what you will get. I promise.
Love,
Mom
On: July 1st, 2008 & January 23rd, 2010
At: Toronto, Canada
Dear to-be-born baby,
I haven't seen you, but I feel you inside my swollen tummy. I haven't heard your voice, but I sense your fast breathing. You are growing within me since the last 7.5 months; touched by my innermost thoughts and heartfelt emotions.
I can't wait to see you in flesh and blood, to hear you go ba-ba-ba-ba. Oh, what fun it will be to wake up and see your bright and smiling face, listen to your cries of hunger or discomfort, feed and swaddle you, give you a bath and good night tuck-ins. I am looking forward to playing with you all those gorgeous toys in the market.
As I dream about the good times, a part of me is full of questions about taking good care of you. How will I know that you are not feeling well? Would I know, all you need is a kiss and squeeze from me? Or, maybe you are hungry? Or, you do not like the new baby soap that I just brought you?
Somewhere from within me comes the answer, "You will know with time. You will be a wonderful mother." I break into a wide grin thinking, "Yes, I can do it." I wasn't born with all the knowledge in the world. I am going to fall, and learn with my mistakes. Celebrating my mistakes makes me a strong person. You taught me to appreciate every moment in life. From you I learned not to lose sleep over the endless worries of life.
When you come out of my secured womb, and begin to grow, you will soon realize that we live in an image bound society. "So what do you do?" is the most famous question asked as soon as you meet anyone. What will your mom say? "I am a stay-at-home-mom" or "I work in so-and-so company as so-and-so."
In today's times, it's a no-win situation. Either way, I have to defend my choices. If I choose to be a career mom, I will be seen as a career obsessed parent who has neglected her only child for money, and if I opt to be a stay-at-home mom, I will be looked down upon by others as someone who is incapable of taking care of both, home and work.
So is it possible to have a satisfying career and personal life? The answer is a resounding yes. I may need to revisit my expectations. Is it essential to have a picture perfect home? Is it crucial to bake a cake from the scratch?
My baby, I refuse to join in this mummy war, and choose to be responsible for my choices: A choice that I am going to make for my family's wellness, needs and desires. Whatever is my choice, my love and attention is what you will get in plentiful. A loving home filled with joy, laughter and warmth is what you will get. I promise.
Love,
Mom
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