Published: The Hindu
On: March 31, 2010
At: Hyderabad, India
To read The Hindu's online version, click here.
“Yes, I will work this weekend and finish the spreadsheet”. “Yes, I will take on the new project”. “Yes, I will help the new employee get started”. Sounds familiar? Your can-do will-do attitude has finally hit a brick wall. Saying ‘No’ to a person in power of your employment can be daunting for any executive, manager or an intern. Most employees avoid saying ‘No’ to their boss because they fear that it could adversely affect their next raise. Or, they will be passed over for promotion or being downgraded on a performance review.
To enhance your job security, it’s important to be a supportive and cooperative employee. Just as important though, is to show your critical thinking and assertiveness. Chances are your boss will appreciate it. It is about saying ‘No’ without uttering the word.
Remember, as a teenager when you asked your mom if you could go out with your friends for a late night party, and the answer was ‘maybe’ or ‘yes, but..’. It gave you hope, right? The same rule applies here. Though this response was just a polite way to say No, it was easier to hear than the actual word itself. Acknowledge your boss’s request so that he or she realizes that you are simply not dismissing it out of hand. For example, as a project manager you are asked to head a new project, begin your conversation with a yes, but ask which of your current projects can be kept aside. Ask help in reprioritizing your current responsibilities. Explain the details of all your projects in hand. Perhaps, he may not know you are handling a difficult client that requires a lot more of your time and efforts.
Ask for time to think it over. Provide an alternative, and be specific about it. Take care to communicate that you care about the company and are highly motivated to find another way. Give you boss as much information and as many options as possible. Suggest a colleague whom you know is eager to take on a new challenge. Be aware of your tone of voice. A calm and polite manner will help you be in control and avoid aggravating the situation. Watch your body language. Your postures should come across as pleasant instead of defensive.
As overbearing few employees may be, there are a lot that understand. It’s up to you how well you handle the situation. Ankush Ved, proprietor of Allied Agencies says, “I am willing to hear a ‘No’ from my employee if I hear a good reason why it’s in my best interest to pass on the task I wanted to assign him or her.”
If you are asked to do something that you just can’t do for the lack of resources or skills, you should say no. Perhaps the project can be moved to another department, you can collaborate with a colleague to complete the task.
If you do have to say yes, find out the details about your new assignment. Ask open-ended questions to understand the task. Be clear on expectations and responsibilities.
Maintaining a good relationship with your manager is always important. Learning what makes your boss tick can help you develop a great working rapport. There are ways to say no without that heavy burden of stress and anxiety. Nonetheless, if you are asked to do something illegal or that crosses your personal boundaries you have to express yourself firmly.
Find a role model in your network of friends or colleagues. Observe how this person communicates saying ‘No’ with ease.
William Ury’s The Power of a Positive No is a confidence-boosting book for anyone who has succumbed to saying yes and then being resentful. Ury says “No. The most powerful and needed word in the language today is also potentially the most destructive and for many people, the hardest to say. Yet when we know how to use it correctly, this one word has the power to profoundly transform our lives for better.”
There is however no assurance that saying no in these demanding situations will give a positive outcome. In the end, the task you have been asked to do needs to be completed. It is for the company’s and your benefit that the conflict be resolved at the earliest. Hiding them under the covers won’t make them go away. A good candid dialogue with your boss along with sincerity and professionalism helps in saving your face and the job!
On: March 31, 2010
At: Hyderabad, India
To read The Hindu's online version, click here.
“Yes, I will work this weekend and finish the spreadsheet”. “Yes, I will take on the new project”. “Yes, I will help the new employee get started”. Sounds familiar? Your can-do will-do attitude has finally hit a brick wall. Saying ‘No’ to a person in power of your employment can be daunting for any executive, manager or an intern. Most employees avoid saying ‘No’ to their boss because they fear that it could adversely affect their next raise. Or, they will be passed over for promotion or being downgraded on a performance review.
To enhance your job security, it’s important to be a supportive and cooperative employee. Just as important though, is to show your critical thinking and assertiveness. Chances are your boss will appreciate it. It is about saying ‘No’ without uttering the word.
Remember, as a teenager when you asked your mom if you could go out with your friends for a late night party, and the answer was ‘maybe’ or ‘yes, but..’. It gave you hope, right? The same rule applies here. Though this response was just a polite way to say No, it was easier to hear than the actual word itself. Acknowledge your boss’s request so that he or she realizes that you are simply not dismissing it out of hand. For example, as a project manager you are asked to head a new project, begin your conversation with a yes, but ask which of your current projects can be kept aside. Ask help in reprioritizing your current responsibilities. Explain the details of all your projects in hand. Perhaps, he may not know you are handling a difficult client that requires a lot more of your time and efforts.
Ask for time to think it over. Provide an alternative, and be specific about it. Take care to communicate that you care about the company and are highly motivated to find another way. Give you boss as much information and as many options as possible. Suggest a colleague whom you know is eager to take on a new challenge. Be aware of your tone of voice. A calm and polite manner will help you be in control and avoid aggravating the situation. Watch your body language. Your postures should come across as pleasant instead of defensive.
As overbearing few employees may be, there are a lot that understand. It’s up to you how well you handle the situation. Ankush Ved, proprietor of Allied Agencies says, “I am willing to hear a ‘No’ from my employee if I hear a good reason why it’s in my best interest to pass on the task I wanted to assign him or her.”
If you are asked to do something that you just can’t do for the lack of resources or skills, you should say no. Perhaps the project can be moved to another department, you can collaborate with a colleague to complete the task.
If you do have to say yes, find out the details about your new assignment. Ask open-ended questions to understand the task. Be clear on expectations and responsibilities.
Maintaining a good relationship with your manager is always important. Learning what makes your boss tick can help you develop a great working rapport. There are ways to say no without that heavy burden of stress and anxiety. Nonetheless, if you are asked to do something illegal or that crosses your personal boundaries you have to express yourself firmly.
Find a role model in your network of friends or colleagues. Observe how this person communicates saying ‘No’ with ease.
William Ury’s The Power of a Positive No is a confidence-boosting book for anyone who has succumbed to saying yes and then being resentful. Ury says “No. The most powerful and needed word in the language today is also potentially the most destructive and for many people, the hardest to say. Yet when we know how to use it correctly, this one word has the power to profoundly transform our lives for better.”
There is however no assurance that saying no in these demanding situations will give a positive outcome. In the end, the task you have been asked to do needs to be completed. It is for the company’s and your benefit that the conflict be resolved at the earliest. Hiding them under the covers won’t make them go away. A good candid dialogue with your boss along with sincerity and professionalism helps in saving your face and the job!
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