A change in perspective betters relationships at work

Published: The Hindu
On: April 7, 2010
At: Hyderabad & Chennai, India

To read The Hindu's online version, click here.
 Picture this at work. You have made a detailed report about an ongoing project. You have put in long hours and number of weekends to make sure all the relevant information is present. Yet, when you hand it over to your boss, he becomes uneasy and impatient. He says this is not what he was looking for, and worse asked you to do redo the report. Now you are upset and baffled. So, where is the problem? This is a classic example of a communication error.
Try to step into your boss’s shoes and walk a mile! Imagine yourself in this person’s situation and position. How differently do you think things would look? It’s an assumption you have made that he will like to read the reams of information you have painstakingly researched. Considering that your boss is not you, he does not want what you want. Probably he wants you to hit the high points only.
Your skills in communicating with others at work – boss, colleague or a client - and developing smooth working relationships will significantly improve if you merely take the time to learn how people are different from you. Find what methods of interaction they are most comfortable with so that you can provide the same. Be aware of how you are communicating and be alert to others’ styles as well.
Experts say that our personalities are genetically determined resulting in different sets of preferred behaviours. We are all different. Some people are outgoing, spontaneous, and talkative while others are serious, introspective and quiet. For instance, if you prefer information to be told, then you are bound to get into a potential conflict with your colleague or perhaps a client who likes written reports and see things presented graphically. Now this may be a strategy that works for this individual and therefore it is valid. If you want to strike a chord with him, you need to keep in mind that it's important to remember what he wants and needs. Perhaps a possible solution here would be to demonstrate your flexibility and accommodate this person’s style.
Ashish Parikh, Regional Sales Head at Marico Ltd. says, “It is always important to have different strokes for different folks. The key is to customize your communication basis the other person’s needs and requirements to be truly effective.”
So, how do you know what your coworker wants? Observe and analyze. See how he interacts with others, how he responds and how he approaches others. How are his presentations? Précised and focused on facts? Or, gets to the bottom line and presents his position strongly? Does he communicate with feeling and emotion or in a calm and impersonal manner? Determine the best way to interact with him and bring in your own interpersonal style.
Listen actively. It’s one of the most important skills you can have. Ask open ended questions (questions which call for more than a simple yes or no answer). This will help you understand why he sees it that way. Once you have gained this alternative perspective, your own non judgmental inner voice will help you in dealing successfully with this individual. At this point everybody wins, and who today does not like win-win situations?
Body language speaks. Remember Ralph Waldo Emerson’s famous quote, “When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.” Try to be aware of what your body is saying. It constitutes 50% or more of what we are communicating. If you wish to communicate well, then it makes sense to understand how you can (and cannot) use your body to say what you mean. Smiling genuinely, nodding your head and maintaining eye contact will go a long way to communicate your point.
All of the above suggestions if implemented could perhaps help in reducing the communication conflicts at your work thus leading to a positive and productive environment along with higher levels of understanding. And, every company needs dollops of it. Consider a change in perspective as a new beginning for improving your communication.

Improve professional image by fine tuning writing skills

Published: The Hindu
On: April 7, 2010
At: Hyderabad, India

To read The Hindu's online version, click here.

You in all probability pepper your speech with informal words like ‘cool’, ‘neat’, and ‘awesome’ when interacting with your peers. As people have become so informal, it can be easy for our writing to follow suit. However, the business world demands professionalism. Inadvertently, you could offend a client or employer who sees your salty lingo as a sign of laziness or not so professional. Research suggests a vast numbers of employees are sabotaging their career by ignoring their writing skills.
The face you regularly present in your workplace is via written reports, presentations, proposals, executive summaries, memos, e-mails, instant messaging (yes, you read it right) and all other forms of written communication. It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you send out a written communication. In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your writing skills.
Given the rapid pace of technology innovation, writing skills is the lifeblood of business today. Every employee is under increasing pressure to deliver better results faster than the competition. A professional written communication gives a meaningful message and establishes a connection that leaves a powerful impression. It’s not just correct grammar that reflects professionalism; it’s also the appearance of the words on the page. Content that is well-organized and neatly formatted assures readers that the author represents quality and professionalism.
Apart from the words you write, how you think about the words is equally important. Sloppy thinking is entwined with sloppy writing. The key here is to write concisely and clearly with clarity in thoughts.
Here are some tips that can be followed for all forms of written communication:
State your objective in the title, subtitle, or first sentence. It allows the reader to quickly decide if he wants to go ahead with reading the document. For longer or more complex documents, consider stating the objective in the first paragraph.
Knowing your audience is important. Ask yourself - Who will read this? What do they need to know? What do they expect from you? Do some research on your audience and pitch your points, flow and language to suit them.
Stay on topic. Don’t allow unrelated research to throw you off track. Focus on the subject otherwise you might lose the reader.
Start with the most important information first. Remember, the reader does not have ample time to go through pages of information to find what is relevant to them.
Insert illustrations and graphics to keep the writer on track. This helps to reinforce the discipline of using modular structure, which leads to clear, simplified writing.
Use formatting techniques to organize your documents. This will allow the reader to find the information they need quickly and easily – and skip what they don’t need.
Emphasize major points. A word of caution: overuse of emphasis may result in the impact getting diminished and the text looking chaotic.
Use simple sentences to communicate key points. Avoid jargons. You don’t want your reader to have a dictionary in their hand while reading your document.
Avoid wordiness. Instead of saying 2 p.m. in the afternoon, say 2 p.m.
Spell check. Pay attention to details. An error-free report or proposal speaks volumes. It reflects your professional attitude.
Take advantage of the vast number of resources available in the market. A good dictionary, thesaurus and books on grammar such as Elements of Style by Strunk & White will allow you to keep your writing fresh.
E-mail etiquettes: Here the visual components such as your smile, body language and eye contact are missing. So be careful when writing messages laced with anger or flippancy, which can be easily misinterpreted. Be conscious about responding to your emails within 24-hours. People expect a response just like a phone call. Use email as a formal communication tool. When addressing someone use a greeting (Hello Anita), a closing (Regards) and a signature that tells who you are, your title, department, work address and telephone number.
Craft a good email subject. Summarize the message and be concise. Avoid using adjectives, articles and adverbs. For instance, if you are inviting somebody to a conference, use “Invitation: Seminar on presentation skills, Hyderabad April 10-12.”
These suggestions have been around a long time. Unfortunately, few people follow them religiously. However, as the need to improve professional image continues, our need to improve written communication will also grow. With a little fine-tuning, and practice your writing skills will convey the confident, poised, capable and attentive image that you have worked hard for!

A simple thank you can make a difference

Published: The Hindu
On: March 24, 2010
At: Chennai & Vishakapatnam, India


Your mother always told you to say thank you and she is right. Sending a thank you message (email or letter) following an employment interview can give you an edge over others while displaying your professional attitude. It also allows you to express your appreciation for the employer’s interest in you while restating the value you can bring to the organization. It gives you the opportunity to re-affirm your enthusiasm in the job. View this as your final, last-minute effort to convince your interviewer that you are the best fit for the position.

Structure:

The structure of a thank you message is quite similar to a cover letter. Keep it precise, and to the point.
First paragraph: Begin with thanking the interviewer for taking the time out to meet you. Show your enthusiasm for the position. Cite the date, time and position you were interviewed.

Second paragraph: Underscore your relevant skills required for the job you have applied. Explain how your education and previous experience (if any) is suitable for this position. You can add something interesting that you have learnt about the company or something that you feel you will excel at within the company.

Closing paragraph: Reiterate your appreciation for being considered for the job and let the interviewer know you are looking forward to hearing from him or her soon.

Follow the KISS (Keep it Short and Simple) rule. About three paragraphs should be ideal.

Be prompt. Send the email within 24-hours after the interview.

Be specific. Refer to some point spoken in the interview. For example, a challenge that the company is having with their new system or their global expansion.

Use the thank you message as follow-up sales. Emphasize on your qualifications, and your successes in previous job experience. Show how you might make a significant contribution and express why you are a strong ‘fit’ for the company.

If you have forgotten to mention a key selling point during the interview that you like your interviewer to know, this is a perfect opportunity.

Any issues or clarifications that had come up during the interview can be resolved here. This is your last chance to make a positive impression on your interviewer.

Don’t oversell yourself. However desperate you are, focus on thanking the interviewer for his/her time and interest.

Proofread. Check for spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. If you are sending out an email, don’t rely on the computer’s inbuilt dictionary.

Be genuine. Instead of borrowing a thank you letter template from the web, put your words and feelings in the message.

Choose the method of communication sensibly. A thank you message after the interview can be sent via a handwritten/typed letter or email. It is best to keep in mind the company culture and the speed it is delivered.

When sending a letter, use the standard business letter format.

When sending an email, follow the general email etiquettes.

If you are interviewed by a group of people, send individual thank you messages. Modify it to send a personalized thank you to each interviewer. This adds a special touch. For example, a shared interest or an acquaintance can be referred. At the conclusion of the interview, make sure you ask each person for a business card – that way you have the contact information for your thank you messages. Incase you haven’t yet asked for it, call the office and get the information from the receptionist. It is well worth your time and efforts.

A thank you message is a great way to be ahead of the pack, and making sure the interviewer remembers your name. Send it even if you think your interview did not go well. Chances are it may have been more successful than you think. In addition, this shows your professionalism and attitude.

It also acts like a significant deciding factor when you are in par with someone else applying for the said job. So keep your spirits up, and remember your manners!

To say 'No' ensure you have valid reasons

Published: The Hindu
On: March 31, 2010
At: Hyderabad, India

To read The Hindu's online version, click here.

“Yes, I will work this weekend and finish the spreadsheet”. “Yes, I will take on the new project”. “Yes, I will help the new employee get started”. Sounds familiar? Your can-do will-do attitude has finally hit a brick wall. Saying ‘No’ to a person in power of your employment can be daunting for any executive, manager or an intern. Most employees avoid saying ‘No’ to their boss because they fear that it could adversely affect their next raise. Or, they will be passed over for promotion or being downgraded on a performance review.
To enhance your job security, it’s important to be a supportive and cooperative employee. Just as important though, is to show your critical thinking and assertiveness. Chances are your boss will appreciate it. It is about saying ‘No’ without uttering the word.
Remember, as a teenager when you asked your mom if you could go out with your friends for a late night party, and the answer was ‘maybe’ or ‘yes, but..’. It gave you hope, right? The same rule applies here. Though this response was just a polite way to say No, it was easier to hear than the actual word itself. Acknowledge your boss’s request so that he or she realizes that you are simply not dismissing it out of hand. For example, as a project manager you are asked to head a new project, begin your conversation with a yes, but ask which of your current projects can be kept aside. Ask help in reprioritizing your current responsibilities. Explain the details of all your projects in hand. Perhaps, he may not know you are handling a difficult client that requires a lot more of your time and efforts.
Ask for time to think it over. Provide an alternative, and be specific about it. Take care to communicate that you care about the company and are highly motivated to find another way. Give you boss as much information and as many options as possible. Suggest a colleague whom you know is eager to take on a new challenge. Be aware of your tone of voice. A calm and polite manner will help you be in control and avoid aggravating the situation. Watch your body language. Your postures should come across as pleasant instead of defensive.
As overbearing few employees may be, there are a lot that understand. It’s up to you how well you handle the situation. Ankush Ved, proprietor of Allied Agencies says, “I am willing to hear a ‘No’ from my employee if I hear a good reason why it’s in my best interest to pass on the task I wanted to assign him or her.”
If you are asked to do something that you just can’t do for the lack of resources or skills, you should say no. Perhaps the project can be moved to another department, you can collaborate with a colleague to complete the task.
If you do have to say yes, find out the details about your new assignment. Ask open-ended questions to understand the task. Be clear on expectations and responsibilities.
Maintaining a good relationship with your manager is always important. Learning what makes your boss tick can help you develop a great working rapport. There are ways to say no without that heavy burden of stress and anxiety. Nonetheless, if you are asked to do something illegal or that crosses your personal boundaries you have to express yourself firmly.
Find a role model in your network of friends or colleagues. Observe how this person communicates saying ‘No’ with ease.
William Ury’s The Power of a Positive No is a confidence-boosting book for anyone who has succumbed to saying yes and then being resentful. Ury says “No. The most powerful and needed word in the language today is also potentially the most destructive and for many people, the hardest to say. Yet when we know how to use it correctly, this one word has the power to profoundly transform our lives for better.”
There is however no assurance that saying no in these demanding situations will give a positive outcome. In the end, the task you have been asked to do needs to be completed. It is for the company’s and your benefit that the conflict be resolved at the earliest. Hiding them under the covers won’t make them go away. A good candid dialogue with your boss along with sincerity and professionalism helps in saving your face and the job!

Why do you do that? A book about Tourette Syndrome for children and Young People

Published: Green Leaflet (Newsletter - Tourette Syndrome Foundation of Canada)

On: September 2006

At: Toronto, Canada

Why do you do that? A book about Tourette Syndrome for Children and Young People

“Why do you do that?” is a good resource for children and young people with Tourette Syndrome, and their siblings. Written by two highly experienced doctors, this book describes Tourette in plain language with key information prominently listed, to allow you to refer to it with ease. The book has been designed to provide all the support that you need by means of:
• Clear, easy-to-use design;
• Child-oriented medical definitions and examples;
• Progressive building of key concepts as you move from level to level; and
• Short amusing poems at the end of each chapter that crystallizes important points.
Every section helps you to understand, Tourette Syndrome is about much more than tics. It guides readers step-by-step through the research done, treatments, and associated conditions of TS such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Depression, and, it does so in a supportive style that is simple to understand.
There is a special chapter that deals with how to cope with life in school. Commonly asked questions such as, should the people at school be made aware if the child has TS, to dealing with homework, exams, and bullies are clarified superbly.
What makes this book unique is that it provides first person accounts of children and adults with TS as well as their siblings. Many will identify with the personal experiences shared by the children and young people.
The authors’ through their vast knowledge recognize and validate the frustrations that the loved ones of someone with TS may experience; while skilfully manages to dispel the myths that abounds the hidden aspects of TS.
Helpful references and further suggested readings are also included at the end of the book. The authors’ upbeat approach and skilful explanation make this an invaluable companion for children, young people and their siblings.

Create your own style!

Published: The Hindu
On: January 24, 2004
At: Hyderabad, India

Create your own style!
It’s your life

Style is all about being comfortable with what you are. A particular personality trait can make a person stylish, an accent, a deep baritone voice, or simply the way one laughs.
Style is about discovering yourself – who you really are, what you really feel, what really matters to you. To dress with taste, elegance, distinction and style. There’s more to a wardrobe than a wide range of clothes. Labels alone do not guarantee elegance. Learning how to mix and match to make the most of what you have is an art.
You should be able to wear your attitude on your sleeve. Putting together the look you want to flaunt is all about getting the details right. The details needn’t be the safety pin of your sheath dress but can be your perfume, the man on your arm and perhaps most essentially you’re own personal signature. Style is all about being comfortable with what you are.
A man with torn jeans and a kurta can be stylish. It is all about coming to terms with one’s personality and attitude. A teenager cannot be called stylish, because he/she is still growing and exploring and trying to find out what her/his personal style is.
Style comes with maturity and it can be safely said that a mature person is definitely classier says Divya Baldev of Indulge, a high -end fashion boutique. She also avers that style is attitude, highly personalized, and unique. Fashion trends are cyclical in nature and what’s in vogue today may not be in vogue tomorrow.
A lot of people are under the misconception that following the latest fads can make one more stylish. Nothing could be more further from the truth. In fact nothing is more off putting than seeing a person dress ridiculously just because it is in vogue. Moreover style is not only about how one’s dressing up, it runs deeper.
A particular personality trait can make a person stylish, an accent, a deep baritone voice, or simply the way one laughs. Why restrict something so varied and subjective to just the way one dresses. Surely, it can’t be purely superficial!
Ritu Raj, a well known fashion designer who does a lot of shows abroad expresses that NRI’s are highly influenced by Bollywood because that’s the only way they are connected with India and Indianness.
It may be summarized that style takes on a lot of dimensions, as Lady Diana was considered an icon in her time, so is Arundhati Rai or even M.F Husain who with their sheer talent manage to be called stylish without Versace dressing them up.
It is the person who has traveled the road of self-discovery, and quite comfortable in just being themselves and charm the world with their personality and talent. Stylish, yes, most certainly stylish!

• What on earth is Style?
  
  About personality, not about trends
  A classic look within which you can have fun
  Balance, wit, taste and harmony
  Quiet confidence
  Purely personal
  Comfort
  Versatility
  Effortless, natural and easy
  An old favorite T-shirt
  Subtle jewelry
  Eschewing rice pearls and rhinestone
  A timeless black dress
  A fitted white shirt
  A tailored jacket in lightweight wool
  Silk next to the skin
  Lace under it all
  Sensual not sexy
  Trim not tight
  Pastel not neon
  Acting your age but not looking it
  Looking dressed up when, in fact, you’ve dressed down
  Clean smelling hair
  A pair of chocolate brown stilettos
  Simple. Simply elegant
  Understated individuality
  Inner grace, rhythm
  Going with your instinct
  An eye-catching statement
  Bold not brassy
  Restraint
  
  Fashion is a fad and it doesn’t stay for long but style is unique and is here to stay. Each person makes his/her own personal statement about their style says Anuj, another student of ICFAI. He says that style must suit one-self. Style is knowing what to wear and when. It is a graceful interpretation of the fashionable. True Style is understated but classy, unassuming but mesmerizing. A woman with Style coordinates her accessories, understands balance and wears proper cuts, color, and fabric. Style is about psychological identification and that’s what impacts your persona says Jignesh Zanora, a student of ICFAI. Stylish clothes are cut well, have clear lines and add to their wearer not distract. One needs confidence to be Stylish. It is essential that a man or woman feels beautiful and confident for the ensemble to be a success. Variety is the spice of life. Anyway, folks, get to it! Turn some heads! Go!

Showers of Blessings

Published: www.yash.ca
On: November 19, 2008
At: Toronto, Canada

There will be many memorable moments from my first pregnancy - moments that I will smile and laugh for years. Always looking for ways to surprise people on their birthdays and anniversaries, I was truly surprised on my baby shower.

It all began when a friend of mine, Nivi emailed another friend, Shabnam (and copied me) saying "we are all coming to your new house one of these Saturdays." I instantly jumped in with a commitment of being there in their new home on the next Saturday (July 7, 2007). My husband glared at me and stated authoritatively, "we will be there only for a while, and will refuse for dinner." I was disappointed, but I wasn't in the mood to argue with him. I was excited at the thought of going to my friend's new home.

With my due date nearing, my hormones were playing havoc within me. I was getting more and more upset. Day by day I awaited my son's arrival. I was counting every moment.

A summer day, Saturday came in as usual. My mother insisted on me wearing something fancy. I yelled back saying, "we are not going to a big party. It's just us!" I was getting annoyed at their stubbornness. Finally after much insistence I wore a colourful Indian dress - kurti (short top) with a long skirt. We finally left home, and reached Shabnam and Hardeep's home at approximately 7 pm. Santosh guided me towards the backyard. While I was still questioning why were we going through the backyard, I pushed the strong wooden door, and entered in.

I gasped when I saw all my friends lined up together to sing a cheerful SURPRISE! I was so touched and happy. The beautiful decorations, assortment of food, games, noisy chatter, and above all the melodious sound of everyone laughing and smiling will remain etched in my heart forever. I was absolutely overwhelmed seeing my loved ones spending hours in planning, preparing with excitement, cooking and decorating the home to make me feel special. Though I heard it all my life, that day I experienced that the littlest things can make a big difference.

As I sit at my desk today typing this blog, I smile and think, what a privilege motherhood is. The emotions, the closeness, the new beginnings, and importantly, always surrounded by loved ones is a blessing, and how very lucky I am.