Find practical ways to help colleagues in hard times

Published: The Hindu
On: May 26, 2010
At: Hyderabad, India


To read The Hindu's online version, click here.

It is Rahul’s first day back at work since the death of a family member two weeks ago. His colleague Prasad sees him coming down the hallway toward him and panics. What is he going to say? What if Rahul completely breaks down? Prasad dodges into the nearest cubicle and hides till Rahul has walked by. Sounds familiar?
There are many Prasads and Rahuls at every workplace. When you spend most of your waking hours at work than at home, you may become close like an extended family. Everyone’s response to personal loss is unique.
Part of helping a grieving colleague is to understand that the stages of grief are a natural part of the mourning process.
There are five stages of grief: Disbelief -’This can’t be happening to me’, Longing - desire to be with the deceased, Anger - ’Why me?’, Depression- overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and Acceptance -accepting the loss. Research shows that the stages of grief last approximately six months. Usually, after this time period grieving is less.
Help the colleague
Find practical ways to help. Possibly, you could request your manager to give your colleague’s share of work to you. However, if the person finds work therapeutic then do not lighten his load. If you are close to this person, make an offer to run little errands to ease his tension from small but irritating factors.

Patience and understanding is need of the hour. The grieving process takes time and the person cannot come out of it immediately.

Be present. Remember, your presence is important. Let your colleague know you are there to listen, talk or be of any other assistance he requires. Words of sympathy are often not enough. Perhaps, a big hug or a squeeze of the hand is needed.

Encourage him to take a walk, or join some activity with you, and spend some time together.

It is unreasonable to expect your colleague to give his best performance. He may experience difficulty in concentrating or his frustration can affect his productivity and efficiency.
Guidelines
Acknowledge the colleague’s grief. Let him know you recognise the magnitude of his loss.

If you know your colleague casually, you can send a sympathy card, note or flowers as a way to extend your condolences. Sending condolence by email is another contemporary way to acknowledge the death. It is not necessary to ask questions about how the death happened.

Let the bereaved tell you as much as he wants. Allow him to take the lead when he is ready.

Avoid platitudes like, “Life is for living”, or, “It’s God’s will”. Such explanations rarely console mourners. It is inappropriate to use cliches like “I know how it feels”. The fact is that you don’t know. Focus on your colleague rather than yourself.

In such moments, it is not unusual for your past grief to come up. Keep your personal feelings aside. Try to keep the ‘why’ and ‘should’ out of your conversation. Also, don’t allow your facial expressions, body language, or gestures to give away your judgmental thoughts.

Become comfortable with silence. There is no need to fill up every moment with conversation. Quiet time together can be golden. As time goes by, listen to your colleague frequently. Do not discourage him to talk about the deceased.

Accept the feelings expressed. He could be angry with providence, deceased person or just anyone. It’s inappropriate to say, “You should not say that”, “You should not feel like that”. Do not hesitate to encourage him to go for counselling if the need arises.

Watch out for signs like weight-loss, depression or talks of extreme actions. Recognise and respect your colleague’s boundaries. Back off at his closed doors and silence in conversation.

Finally, be open to your colleague’s need and make frequent contacts when required. Your colleague will do better when he or she feels cared for and supported by you.

Walking through the difficult terrain of grief is not easy, but recognise grieving is as much part of wellness as it is of life.

Tips for New Employee Orientation

Published: The Hindu
On: June, 2010
At: Hyderabad, India

 Picture this scenario, Sandhya, a project manager had thought she had finally found her ideal job. She was full of excitement when she arrived at work on her first day. Someone from Human Resources showed her the office, left her with a couple of product manuals, and told her to read them. During her first week, she did just that, peruse product manuals. Each day at noon she hoped that a colleague would ask her to join them for lunch. She waited for someone to walk to her desk and talk to her. But, no such luck. Sandhya found the work atmosphere so stifling that she decided to call it quits within ten days of her joining work.

The thought of working in a flourishing work environment is very appealing to most people. It can bring a sad smile on someone’s face whose current company does not measure up. Great workplaces are committed to create a welcoming atmosphere to truly make people feel that they are part of something extraordinary. While there are many qualities in making a great work atmosphere, one key practice is to spend a lot of energy welcoming new employees and making sure they successfully get acclimated to their new work environment.

The following key points will help you get your newest team members up to speed so they can start contributing to your success soon.

Introduction and Tours

Make time for your new employees. Conduct an ‘office tour’ pointing out mailrooms, restrooms, meeting rooms, cafeteria and copy and fax area. Introduce the new ones to other employees. It can be overwhelming to introduce everyone. In a large company, just the department is fine. If you must be away, ‘appoint’ someone in your team to act on your behalf. This person could also be a buddy employee(s) to assist with questions and help them navigate the unwritten rules of the organization.

Make it simple. Avoid making them fill in numerous forms on the first day. Instead, prioritize in making the new employees in your team feel welcome. Encourage them to interact with the key people in their department.

Make an announcement. It could be an office memo informing employees of the new hires and their role in the office. Or, in this technology savvy work environment you could send an e-mail note to their team.

Position Information

Orient the person with the job assignments and training plans. Explain their role and how it affects the organization. Discuss the expected contributions and facilitate in deriving short term goals. Review company policies and procedures including, vacations, timings and schedules. Provide a glossary of company acronyms, terms and Frequently Asked Questions in a manual.

Administrative Procedures

Prepare the new hire’s arrival before time. Arrange for the phone, workstation, business cards (if applicable) and any equipment needed to perform the necessary job functions. Stock their workstation with office supplies. Order applicable building keys and/or security access cards. If the employee will be accessing a computer terminal, contact your help desk to set up security access, email accounts, login and passwords and Intranet.

Make the first day a celebration. It instills trust, mutual respect, a strong work ethic and a sense of fun. An invitation to lunch from their team is welcoming. First impressions of you and your organization, both good and bad, are made on the first day. Continue to monitor their progress and answering questions as and when they arise. A person can take in just enough information for a day. Set a meeting with the new hires once a week to help making an easy transition. Being extra sensitive to their needs and giving time to absorb the newness of the role and environment is helpful and appreciative. These small gestures will go a long way in making the employees feel they have made the correct choice in selecting your company for their career path. When employees feel welcome, they will easily integrate in their teams.

They will readily support and assist the company when needed. Importantly, a happy employee makes a productive employee.

A change in perspective betters relationships at work

Published: The Hindu
On: April 7, 2010
At: Hyderabad & Chennai, India

To read The Hindu's online version, click here.
 Picture this at work. You have made a detailed report about an ongoing project. You have put in long hours and number of weekends to make sure all the relevant information is present. Yet, when you hand it over to your boss, he becomes uneasy and impatient. He says this is not what he was looking for, and worse asked you to do redo the report. Now you are upset and baffled. So, where is the problem? This is a classic example of a communication error.
Try to step into your boss’s shoes and walk a mile! Imagine yourself in this person’s situation and position. How differently do you think things would look? It’s an assumption you have made that he will like to read the reams of information you have painstakingly researched. Considering that your boss is not you, he does not want what you want. Probably he wants you to hit the high points only.
Your skills in communicating with others at work – boss, colleague or a client - and developing smooth working relationships will significantly improve if you merely take the time to learn how people are different from you. Find what methods of interaction they are most comfortable with so that you can provide the same. Be aware of how you are communicating and be alert to others’ styles as well.
Experts say that our personalities are genetically determined resulting in different sets of preferred behaviours. We are all different. Some people are outgoing, spontaneous, and talkative while others are serious, introspective and quiet. For instance, if you prefer information to be told, then you are bound to get into a potential conflict with your colleague or perhaps a client who likes written reports and see things presented graphically. Now this may be a strategy that works for this individual and therefore it is valid. If you want to strike a chord with him, you need to keep in mind that it's important to remember what he wants and needs. Perhaps a possible solution here would be to demonstrate your flexibility and accommodate this person’s style.
Ashish Parikh, Regional Sales Head at Marico Ltd. says, “It is always important to have different strokes for different folks. The key is to customize your communication basis the other person’s needs and requirements to be truly effective.”
So, how do you know what your coworker wants? Observe and analyze. See how he interacts with others, how he responds and how he approaches others. How are his presentations? Précised and focused on facts? Or, gets to the bottom line and presents his position strongly? Does he communicate with feeling and emotion or in a calm and impersonal manner? Determine the best way to interact with him and bring in your own interpersonal style.
Listen actively. It’s one of the most important skills you can have. Ask open ended questions (questions which call for more than a simple yes or no answer). This will help you understand why he sees it that way. Once you have gained this alternative perspective, your own non judgmental inner voice will help you in dealing successfully with this individual. At this point everybody wins, and who today does not like win-win situations?
Body language speaks. Remember Ralph Waldo Emerson’s famous quote, “When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.” Try to be aware of what your body is saying. It constitutes 50% or more of what we are communicating. If you wish to communicate well, then it makes sense to understand how you can (and cannot) use your body to say what you mean. Smiling genuinely, nodding your head and maintaining eye contact will go a long way to communicate your point.
All of the above suggestions if implemented could perhaps help in reducing the communication conflicts at your work thus leading to a positive and productive environment along with higher levels of understanding. And, every company needs dollops of it. Consider a change in perspective as a new beginning for improving your communication.

Improve professional image by fine tuning writing skills

Published: The Hindu
On: April 7, 2010
At: Hyderabad, India

To read The Hindu's online version, click here.

You in all probability pepper your speech with informal words like ‘cool’, ‘neat’, and ‘awesome’ when interacting with your peers. As people have become so informal, it can be easy for our writing to follow suit. However, the business world demands professionalism. Inadvertently, you could offend a client or employer who sees your salty lingo as a sign of laziness or not so professional. Research suggests a vast numbers of employees are sabotaging their career by ignoring their writing skills.
The face you regularly present in your workplace is via written reports, presentations, proposals, executive summaries, memos, e-mails, instant messaging (yes, you read it right) and all other forms of written communication. It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you send out a written communication. In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your writing skills.
Given the rapid pace of technology innovation, writing skills is the lifeblood of business today. Every employee is under increasing pressure to deliver better results faster than the competition. A professional written communication gives a meaningful message and establishes a connection that leaves a powerful impression. It’s not just correct grammar that reflects professionalism; it’s also the appearance of the words on the page. Content that is well-organized and neatly formatted assures readers that the author represents quality and professionalism.
Apart from the words you write, how you think about the words is equally important. Sloppy thinking is entwined with sloppy writing. The key here is to write concisely and clearly with clarity in thoughts.
Here are some tips that can be followed for all forms of written communication:
State your objective in the title, subtitle, or first sentence. It allows the reader to quickly decide if he wants to go ahead with reading the document. For longer or more complex documents, consider stating the objective in the first paragraph.
Knowing your audience is important. Ask yourself - Who will read this? What do they need to know? What do they expect from you? Do some research on your audience and pitch your points, flow and language to suit them.
Stay on topic. Don’t allow unrelated research to throw you off track. Focus on the subject otherwise you might lose the reader.
Start with the most important information first. Remember, the reader does not have ample time to go through pages of information to find what is relevant to them.
Insert illustrations and graphics to keep the writer on track. This helps to reinforce the discipline of using modular structure, which leads to clear, simplified writing.
Use formatting techniques to organize your documents. This will allow the reader to find the information they need quickly and easily – and skip what they don’t need.
Emphasize major points. A word of caution: overuse of emphasis may result in the impact getting diminished and the text looking chaotic.
Use simple sentences to communicate key points. Avoid jargons. You don’t want your reader to have a dictionary in their hand while reading your document.
Avoid wordiness. Instead of saying 2 p.m. in the afternoon, say 2 p.m.
Spell check. Pay attention to details. An error-free report or proposal speaks volumes. It reflects your professional attitude.
Take advantage of the vast number of resources available in the market. A good dictionary, thesaurus and books on grammar such as Elements of Style by Strunk & White will allow you to keep your writing fresh.
E-mail etiquettes: Here the visual components such as your smile, body language and eye contact are missing. So be careful when writing messages laced with anger or flippancy, which can be easily misinterpreted. Be conscious about responding to your emails within 24-hours. People expect a response just like a phone call. Use email as a formal communication tool. When addressing someone use a greeting (Hello Anita), a closing (Regards) and a signature that tells who you are, your title, department, work address and telephone number.
Craft a good email subject. Summarize the message and be concise. Avoid using adjectives, articles and adverbs. For instance, if you are inviting somebody to a conference, use “Invitation: Seminar on presentation skills, Hyderabad April 10-12.”
These suggestions have been around a long time. Unfortunately, few people follow them religiously. However, as the need to improve professional image continues, our need to improve written communication will also grow. With a little fine-tuning, and practice your writing skills will convey the confident, poised, capable and attentive image that you have worked hard for!

A simple thank you can make a difference

Published: The Hindu
On: March 24, 2010
At: Chennai & Vishakapatnam, India


Your mother always told you to say thank you and she is right. Sending a thank you message (email or letter) following an employment interview can give you an edge over others while displaying your professional attitude. It also allows you to express your appreciation for the employer’s interest in you while restating the value you can bring to the organization. It gives you the opportunity to re-affirm your enthusiasm in the job. View this as your final, last-minute effort to convince your interviewer that you are the best fit for the position.

Structure:

The structure of a thank you message is quite similar to a cover letter. Keep it precise, and to the point.
First paragraph: Begin with thanking the interviewer for taking the time out to meet you. Show your enthusiasm for the position. Cite the date, time and position you were interviewed.

Second paragraph: Underscore your relevant skills required for the job you have applied. Explain how your education and previous experience (if any) is suitable for this position. You can add something interesting that you have learnt about the company or something that you feel you will excel at within the company.

Closing paragraph: Reiterate your appreciation for being considered for the job and let the interviewer know you are looking forward to hearing from him or her soon.

Follow the KISS (Keep it Short and Simple) rule. About three paragraphs should be ideal.

Be prompt. Send the email within 24-hours after the interview.

Be specific. Refer to some point spoken in the interview. For example, a challenge that the company is having with their new system or their global expansion.

Use the thank you message as follow-up sales. Emphasize on your qualifications, and your successes in previous job experience. Show how you might make a significant contribution and express why you are a strong ‘fit’ for the company.

If you have forgotten to mention a key selling point during the interview that you like your interviewer to know, this is a perfect opportunity.

Any issues or clarifications that had come up during the interview can be resolved here. This is your last chance to make a positive impression on your interviewer.

Don’t oversell yourself. However desperate you are, focus on thanking the interviewer for his/her time and interest.

Proofread. Check for spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. If you are sending out an email, don’t rely on the computer’s inbuilt dictionary.

Be genuine. Instead of borrowing a thank you letter template from the web, put your words and feelings in the message.

Choose the method of communication sensibly. A thank you message after the interview can be sent via a handwritten/typed letter or email. It is best to keep in mind the company culture and the speed it is delivered.

When sending a letter, use the standard business letter format.

When sending an email, follow the general email etiquettes.

If you are interviewed by a group of people, send individual thank you messages. Modify it to send a personalized thank you to each interviewer. This adds a special touch. For example, a shared interest or an acquaintance can be referred. At the conclusion of the interview, make sure you ask each person for a business card – that way you have the contact information for your thank you messages. Incase you haven’t yet asked for it, call the office and get the information from the receptionist. It is well worth your time and efforts.

A thank you message is a great way to be ahead of the pack, and making sure the interviewer remembers your name. Send it even if you think your interview did not go well. Chances are it may have been more successful than you think. In addition, this shows your professionalism and attitude.

It also acts like a significant deciding factor when you are in par with someone else applying for the said job. So keep your spirits up, and remember your manners!

To say 'No' ensure you have valid reasons

Published: The Hindu
On: March 31, 2010
At: Hyderabad, India

To read The Hindu's online version, click here.

“Yes, I will work this weekend and finish the spreadsheet”. “Yes, I will take on the new project”. “Yes, I will help the new employee get started”. Sounds familiar? Your can-do will-do attitude has finally hit a brick wall. Saying ‘No’ to a person in power of your employment can be daunting for any executive, manager or an intern. Most employees avoid saying ‘No’ to their boss because they fear that it could adversely affect their next raise. Or, they will be passed over for promotion or being downgraded on a performance review.
To enhance your job security, it’s important to be a supportive and cooperative employee. Just as important though, is to show your critical thinking and assertiveness. Chances are your boss will appreciate it. It is about saying ‘No’ without uttering the word.
Remember, as a teenager when you asked your mom if you could go out with your friends for a late night party, and the answer was ‘maybe’ or ‘yes, but..’. It gave you hope, right? The same rule applies here. Though this response was just a polite way to say No, it was easier to hear than the actual word itself. Acknowledge your boss’s request so that he or she realizes that you are simply not dismissing it out of hand. For example, as a project manager you are asked to head a new project, begin your conversation with a yes, but ask which of your current projects can be kept aside. Ask help in reprioritizing your current responsibilities. Explain the details of all your projects in hand. Perhaps, he may not know you are handling a difficult client that requires a lot more of your time and efforts.
Ask for time to think it over. Provide an alternative, and be specific about it. Take care to communicate that you care about the company and are highly motivated to find another way. Give you boss as much information and as many options as possible. Suggest a colleague whom you know is eager to take on a new challenge. Be aware of your tone of voice. A calm and polite manner will help you be in control and avoid aggravating the situation. Watch your body language. Your postures should come across as pleasant instead of defensive.
As overbearing few employees may be, there are a lot that understand. It’s up to you how well you handle the situation. Ankush Ved, proprietor of Allied Agencies says, “I am willing to hear a ‘No’ from my employee if I hear a good reason why it’s in my best interest to pass on the task I wanted to assign him or her.”
If you are asked to do something that you just can’t do for the lack of resources or skills, you should say no. Perhaps the project can be moved to another department, you can collaborate with a colleague to complete the task.
If you do have to say yes, find out the details about your new assignment. Ask open-ended questions to understand the task. Be clear on expectations and responsibilities.
Maintaining a good relationship with your manager is always important. Learning what makes your boss tick can help you develop a great working rapport. There are ways to say no without that heavy burden of stress and anxiety. Nonetheless, if you are asked to do something illegal or that crosses your personal boundaries you have to express yourself firmly.
Find a role model in your network of friends or colleagues. Observe how this person communicates saying ‘No’ with ease.
William Ury’s The Power of a Positive No is a confidence-boosting book for anyone who has succumbed to saying yes and then being resentful. Ury says “No. The most powerful and needed word in the language today is also potentially the most destructive and for many people, the hardest to say. Yet when we know how to use it correctly, this one word has the power to profoundly transform our lives for better.”
There is however no assurance that saying no in these demanding situations will give a positive outcome. In the end, the task you have been asked to do needs to be completed. It is for the company’s and your benefit that the conflict be resolved at the earliest. Hiding them under the covers won’t make them go away. A good candid dialogue with your boss along with sincerity and professionalism helps in saving your face and the job!

Why do you do that? A book about Tourette Syndrome for children and Young People

Published: Green Leaflet (Newsletter - Tourette Syndrome Foundation of Canada)

On: September 2006

At: Toronto, Canada

Why do you do that? A book about Tourette Syndrome for Children and Young People

“Why do you do that?” is a good resource for children and young people with Tourette Syndrome, and their siblings. Written by two highly experienced doctors, this book describes Tourette in plain language with key information prominently listed, to allow you to refer to it with ease. The book has been designed to provide all the support that you need by means of:
• Clear, easy-to-use design;
• Child-oriented medical definitions and examples;
• Progressive building of key concepts as you move from level to level; and
• Short amusing poems at the end of each chapter that crystallizes important points.
Every section helps you to understand, Tourette Syndrome is about much more than tics. It guides readers step-by-step through the research done, treatments, and associated conditions of TS such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Depression, and, it does so in a supportive style that is simple to understand.
There is a special chapter that deals with how to cope with life in school. Commonly asked questions such as, should the people at school be made aware if the child has TS, to dealing with homework, exams, and bullies are clarified superbly.
What makes this book unique is that it provides first person accounts of children and adults with TS as well as their siblings. Many will identify with the personal experiences shared by the children and young people.
The authors’ through their vast knowledge recognize and validate the frustrations that the loved ones of someone with TS may experience; while skilfully manages to dispel the myths that abounds the hidden aspects of TS.
Helpful references and further suggested readings are also included at the end of the book. The authors’ upbeat approach and skilful explanation make this an invaluable companion for children, young people and their siblings.